retrophisch.com

The right to keep and arm roos

Programmers like to be efficient, which is a good thing. If programmers are efficient with their code, there is less work for them and less overhead on the systems running the code. Unfortunately, there is a case of being too efficient with your coding, as the Australian armed forces learned.

(Thanks, Jason.)

Why Star Wars Is Better Than Titanic

1. The Titanic is big, but it doesn’t have hyperdrive.
2. Yoda could’ve used the Force to lift Titanic out of the water.
3. Leia is a princess, a senator, a freedom fighter, and Jedi material. Rose is just marriage bait.
4. Ewoks throw better parties than either first class or steerage.
5. When flying towards the Titanic, Wedge couldn’t say, “Look at the size of that thing!” and really mean it.
6. It would be much scarier to get chased around the boat by a raving madman with a lightsaber as opposed to a handgun.
7. Titanic is egalitarian by portraying poor people as sympathetic characters. Star Wars is egalitarian by promoting bug-eyed amphibians to Admiral.
8. Said bug-eyed amphibious Admiral does not lose his ship.
9. We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and treats his fiancee like property. We know Darth Vader is the bad guy ‘cause he strangles people & blows up planets for fun.
10. Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-wing?
11. Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia braves Jabba the Hutt.
12. There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars.
13. Do you know what the Empire does to self-proclaimed “kings of the world?”
14. If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking ship, he would use the Force to get the key.
15. Nothing has the same sting as “I’d rather kiss a Wookie.”
16. Han is frozen in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament. Leo simply freezes.
17. Han Solo would’ve steered clear of that stinkin’ iceberg!
18. We knew the boat was gonna sink. But who could’ve anticipated, “Luke…I am your father”?
19. Stormtroopers blast big holes in stupid minor characters; everyone in Titanic was a minor character.
20. When Star Wars was proclaimed coolest movie of all time by half of planet earth, George Lucas did not make a fool of himself at the Oscars.

21. Titanic morals:

• gamble
• cheat on your fiancé
• pose nude for pictures
• premarital sex is OK if you’re infatuated
• let undesirables drown

22. Star Wars morals:

• fight evil
• do good
• respect all life even if it’s ugly and slithers
• rescue the princess
• save the planet

Yes, an oldie, but a goodie, back from when James Cameron’s history lesson run amok displaced Star Wars as the highest-grossing movie of all time…

How pathetic am I?

So I’ve spent part of last night and this morning, off and on, installing Fink, FinkCommander, and X11. Why? Why, to play XGalaga, of course, the open source clone of my favorite childhood video game. Geez, you didn’t think I was going to go through all that trouble to do work or anything, did you? ;-)

Pen tech

A few minutes later I have a fistful of Bics, including the new nevr-dri-out highlighting pens with a clear reservoir tank. You can see the lovely yellow ink sloshing around. No more wondering how much highlighting you can do - just check your tank. Highlight with confidence, friend. Across the room, a Sharpie salesman who, true to the name of his product, had the manner of Chris Finch from “The Office”, was handing out the new bleedless acid-free silver-ink Sharpie. Got two. At the Uniball table, the new magic pen with invisible ink that turns purple when it hits the page! And it has - drumroll - a clear reservoir tank. All your old pens with their inscrutable interiors are old and busted, and I sneer at you from my position on the clear-tank paradigm verandah, where I have a lounge chair and an umbrella and a drink. It’s clear but it tastes purple.

Self-branding for the road

So how far would you go to promote your own personal brand? Some people nab custom license plates to slap on their vehicles in their respective states. Thanks to the Acme License Maker, now you too can experiment with self-branding for your personal transport. (Please bear in mind that I do not know the rules for number of characters allowed in the states shown.)

For instance, I could get:

Michael might prefer:

Or maybe he’d like:

Jason could go with:

Brad and Mena could promote their new venture with:

I know Lee has a custom Macintosh Florida plate, but would he slap on DTPBYLEE, provided Florida allowed all of those characters?

Just some fun food for thought…

New jobs for friends!

It’s been a good couple of weeks for friends of the ‘phisch. Steve landed a programming job with DirecTV’s billing company in Charlotte, NC, and Richard is now a sysadmin with Standard & Poor’s in Boston. Congrats, amigos! I hope you both have long, happy, healthy, and wealthy careers with your new employers!

Tigers first to leave Omaha

The LSU baseball team is swept for only the second time in all of its College World Series appearances, and their season is over. The Tigers dropped their losers’ bracket game to South Carolina yesterday, 11-10. LSU came back from a 6-0 deficit in the 1st inning to take the lead.

But Coach Smoke Laval left reliever Jason Determann in an inning too long, and it cost the Tigers severely. The Tigers had a two-run lead going in to the bottom of the 8th, when the Gamecocks blew through a tired Determann’s pitching to take a one-run lead they held on to through the top of the ninth for the win.

The Tigers had a great run: they finish the season 45-22-1, and this loss is only their first in seven tries against an SEC foe in the CWS. They were the regular season SEC Champions, and runner-up in the SEC Tournament.

Test driving

So this weekend my bride and I took some big baby steps. Furniture was purchased. Items were registered. And strollers were test-driven through the aisles of the local Babies R Us. I knew having a kid was going to be a lot of fun…

Cursive is dead

So sayeth the n3rdling. (And CBS.)

I have to agree; the only thing I write in cursive any more is my signature. My handwritten print is much better, and cleaner. So much so that someone is supposed to make a font for me, at some point in his copious spare time. Even then, like Jon, I’d much rather type it than write it.

Jon brought up a good point in our discussion about it: if you type it—which nowadays means in to a computer—you can index it, search it, publish it; the possibilities are endless.

This is probably why my feeble attempts at journaling have all ended in failure. Printing is just too slow, cursive is too messy. I may fill up a couple dozen pages in a journal, then it tapers off to nothing. I guess what I need is a decent journaling app, where I can print out the individual entries to put in to a binder or some other hard copy product.

Brain usage

So, at Dan’s urging, I took Mind Media’s Brain Persuasion Test. My results:

Your Brain Usage Profile

Auditory : 60%
Visual : 40%
Left : 50%
Right : 50%

Chris, your hemispheric dominance is equally divided between left and right brain, while you show a moderate preference for auditory versus visual learning, signs of a balanced and flexible person.

Your balance gives you the enviable capacity to be verbal and literate while retaining a certain “flair” and individuality. You are logical and compliant but only to a degree. You are organized without being compulsive, goal-directed without being driven, and a “thinking” individual without being excessively so.

The one problem you might have is that your learning might not be as efficient as you would like. At times you will work from the specific to the general, while at other times you’ll work from the general to the specific. Sometimes you will be logical in your approach while at other times random. Since you cannot always control the choice, you may experience frustrations not normally felt by persons with a more defined and directed learning style.

You may also minimally experience conflicts associated with auditory processing. You will be systematic and sequential in your processing of information, you will most often focus on a single dimension of the problem or material, and you will be more reflective, i.e., “taking the data in” as opposed to “devouring” it.

Overall, you should feel content with your life and yourself. You are, perhaps, a little too critical of yourself—and of others—while maintaining an “openness” which is redeeming. Indecisiveness is a problem and your creativity is not in keeping with your potential. Being a pragmatist, you downplay this aspect of yourself and focus on the more immediate, the more obvious and the more functional.

Gee, who would have thought I was balanced? :)

This does explain a lot about me, however. How I seem to be at war with myself at times, creativity versus technical interests. How I can do ultra-basic stuff in Photoshop or OS X’s Terminal, but haven’t become more of a power user in either, despite my intentions to do so. Thank goodness I use an OS that allows me to consistently work both sides of my brain.

Feel free to take the test yourself and leave your results in the comments.

Icon War

This seems to be an appropriate use for Windows XP technology…

(Thanks, Jason.)

Incredible teaser

Steve Jobs’ other company has released a teaser for their next film, The Incredibles, due out in November next year. Consider this your splatter warning.

Back to Omaha, baby!

The LSU Tigers crushed Baylor 20-5 in game three of their NCAA super regional to earn their 12th trip to the College World Series since 1986. Yeah, that’s right, bub: LSU has been one of four eight teams in the CWS 12 times in 17 years!

The Tigers will face CWS arch-nemesis Cal State-Fullerton in the first round of the CWS. South Carolina and Stanford play in the other bracket.

Geaux Tigers!!!

UPDATE, 6/10: The rest of the field is SW Missouri St. vs. Rice, and Texas takes on Miami (FL).

Mars Mission Patches

Dan notes NASA’s sense of humor with regard to Mars rover naming conventions and mission patches. This is what happens when guys our age, who grew up with Looney Tunes, are put in charge…

Galloway moving to ESPN radio

One of my favorite sports-talk hosts is moving from WBAP, 820 AM, to the station’s ESPN radio affiliate. This stinks, since I never listen to ESPN radio, keeping the radio—when I listen to the radio—on either WBAP or KWRD 100.7 FM (Christian talk radio). This is all in the D/FW metro area, by the way.

One problem I have with ESPN radio, or, at least, the affiliate here in town: when I’m watching the freaking Stanley Cup Finals on your company’s main network, it sure would be nice to have the game on the radio, if I have to leave the house, as I did this weekend. I wonder if the same would be true if ESPN was carrying the NBA Finals, or the World Series?

Tigers win regional

For the first time this season, the LSU Tigers win an extra-inning game, and in doing so take their 8th consecutive regional championship. The Tigers, 20-1 all-time in regional championship games, were 0-4 this year in extra-inning games. LSU now moves on to a best-of-three super-regional against Baylor to determine who goes to the College World Series.

Geaux Tigers!!

I am a Total Geek

More accurately, I possess 31.36095% geekish qualities. Take the test yourself, unless you’re Erik.

Rangers make history

My good friend Francisco informed me this morning that our up-and-coming Texas Rangers have made baseball history. No MLB club has ever fielded a team in one season that had three players with 500 home runs, 400 home runs, and 300 home runs, respectively…until now.

Rafael Palmeiro, Juan Gonzalez, and Alex Rodriguez take those honors, respectively, and 2001 “Comeback Player of the Year” Ruben Sierra currently stands at 278 home runs in his career, so he’s knocking on the 300-club door as well.

If we could just get some consistency out of the pitching staff, like we did during the last 7-game winning streak (which included a sweep of the playoff-nemesis NY Yankees club), this team would be contending for a pennant. For now, we have to struggle to win two just to get back to .500.

UPDATE, 6/13: Well, this was short-lived. The Rangers traded Sierra last week to the Yankees.

This Friday’s Five

1. What brand of toothpaste do you use?

Colgate Total.

2. What brand of toilet paper do you prefer?

Angel Soft.

3. What brand(s) of shoes do you wear?

Rockport boots and casual shoes; Reebok or K-Swiss sneakers.

4. What brand of soda do you drink?

Trying to cut out soda from my diet, but when I do, I prefer Cherry Coke.

5. What brand of gum do you chew?

Don’t chew gum.

Last Friday’s Five

The questions, with my answers, from last Friday’s Five (which I only saw yesterday):

1. What drinking water do you prefer — tap, bottle, purifier, etc.?

Honestly, it depends on where I am. Most of the time, especially at home, I’m fine with the tap, unpurified. When I travel, even to other parts of the metroplex, unless I’ve been there before and have tried the tap, it’s from a bottle.

2. What are your favorite flavor of chips?

Tough one; I’d have to say Cool Ranch Doritos (now in a low-fat baked variety!).

3. Of all the things you can cook, what dish do you like the most?

Red beans and rice.

4. How do you have your eggs?

Scrambled.

5. Who was the last person who cooked you a meal? How did it turn out?

The Morrisses and Leaumonts; great grilled burgers and baked fries for a Sunday afternoon pool-side get-together.

LSU SEC baseball champs (again)

The LSU baseball team has won the regular season Southeastern Conference championship (again) for 2003, its first since 1997. LSU’s head coach has been named SEC Coach of the Year (again - though a first for current head coach Smoke Laval). Junior shortstop Aaron Hill has been named the conference’s Position Player of the Year. The Fighting Tigers finished the regular season 37-18-1, and begin play against Arkansas in Hoover, Alabama, tomorrow, in the SEC Tournament. (I wish I could come out for it, Dad!)

Looking for another SEC Tournament championship, and a berth in the College World Series, LSU has rebounded from several major injuries throughout the season to clinch the SEC championship. Geaux Tigers!

Mavs upset Spurs in Game 1

Go Mavs! After Najera missed his first free throw in the first quarter, the Mavs combined for 49 straight free throws to help catapult them to an upset victory, 113-110. The Mavericks were down by as much as 18 at one point in the game. Dirk Nowitzki was monster on the court for Dallas, proving in every facet of his game to be Tim Duncan’s equal.

I’m not so much a NBA basketball fan as I am a Dallas Mavericks fan, and it’s nice to see them hang in there and pull this one out. Around the office yesterday, we all agreed that we wouldn’t be surprised to see the Mavs drop Game 1, having just come off their second seven-game series in the playoffs. The Spurs had an extra day of rest after knocking off the defending champ Lakers in six games.

Finally, it seems the ineptitude and need for sharper contact lenses that pervades the NHL has crept in to the NBA as well. The officiating for this game was inconsistent at several points throughout, and overbearing at others. Both sides suffered and benefited from this behavior, so many would say it was a wash. The fact is that consistency amongst those officiating is greatly needed in professional sports, and this begins at the top of the leagues’ front offices (are you listening, Gary Bettman?). Officials are going to miss things that happen on the hardwoord and ice; that’s a fact of life, and one most fans can live with. What we don’t like is the inconsistency of what constitutes a foul/penalty from team to team, game to game, series to series.

Reloaded

[Possible spoilers] So my lovely bride and I caught The Matrix Reloaded Saturday night. My overall feelings with the film mirror Jason Kottke’s.

In addition to what Jason has to say, allow me to add the following. As much as the production touted the Twins in teasers, trailers, and the like over the past few months, they didn’t have all that much screen time. This is a shame, since they are extremely cool characters, the likes of which we hadn’t seen within the Matrix.

The first hour of the movie would have been better with about 20 minutes taken out. We get that Trinity and Neo love one another deeply. We get that Zion’s having a big party to show they aren’t afraid of the machines. We don’t need it to drag out. I actually leaned over to my wife at one point and twiddled my thumbs.

All in all, it was an enjoyable flick, but nothing mind-blowing or earth-shattering, certainly not like the first film. The freeway chase was our favorite part of the movie. I’m going to miss Gloria Foster in the 3d installment.

Armey on Clinton/Lewinsky

Back on 15 September 1998, then-House Majority Leader Dick Armey (R-Texas) held his weekly meeting with Capitol reporters. When a reporter provided him an opening by inquiring what he would do if he were in President Clinton’s shoes, the Los Angeles Times captured the conference’s atmosphere:

…the jam-packed room burst into raucous laughter as one reporter prefaced a question about the Lewinsky scandal by saying, “If you were in the president’s position…” Armey didn’t miss a beat. “If I were, I would be looking up from a pool of blood and hearing my wife say: ‘How do I reload this thing?’”

The situation would be similar in my household; except my wife knows how to reload!

(Thanks to Ricky and Snopes.)

The word for today…

…is retromingent.

Courtesy of Anu’s free A.W.A.D. service:

retromingent (re-tro-MIN-jent)

adjective: Urinating backwards.

noun: An animal that passes urine backwards, e.g. raccoon.

[From Latin retro- (back) + mingent, stem of mingens, past participle of
mingere (to urinate).]

“When my turn came, I discovered that the bathrooms had been designed for a retromingent. The rest of the flight? Rather uneventful.” —Jeffrey Levine; The Concorde, Firsthand: Built for Speed, Not for Comfort; The Washington Post ; Dec 17, 1989.

“I can verify that camels are, indeed, retromingent.” —Sally Bixby Defty; Just Deserts Midnight at the Oasis Sing Your Camel to Bed; St. Louis Post-Dispatch; May 16, 1993.

Sorry, but had to pass on another retro- word. You’re welcome for the enlightenment. (And subscribe to A.W.A.D.!)

Prom Night

So I took my wife to the prom last night.

No, we didn’t go to a high school as chaperones. We went to the 2d Chance Prom that benefits the Kidd’s Kids charity. Dallas radio personality Kidd Kraddick’s charity takes terminally ill kids to Disney World each year, and this event is their primary fund-raiser.

I rented a tux, my bride bought a lovely dress that she’ll get multiple use out of (unlike most prom dresses), and we had a great dinner at Sonoma before heading off to the prom.

Half concert, half dance party, the 2d Chance Prom was a gas. Texas native Jennifer Love Hewitt performed four songs with just an acoustic guitar player accompanying her. This cutie can sing, and she was well received by the crowd. A little over half an hour later, MC Hammer and company took the stage for an eight-song set that capped off with a non-stop medley of his big hits “Can’t Touch This,” “2 Legit 2 Quit,” and “Pray.” I don’t go for the hip-hop scene, but Hammer’s set was enjoyable. It’s amazing the energy he and his crew brought to the stage.

My only druthers are with the DJ’s music selection. Way too much hip-hop/techno/dance remix stuff. We got there before 9, left a little after midnight, and there was only one slow song played the entire time. There’s also plenty of normal pop and rock out there that’s good for dancing. And whoever remixed AC/DC’s “Shook Me All Night Long” to a dance beat should be put against a wall and shot for messing with a classic rock anthem.

All in all, we had a fun time. I’ll post a pic of my gorgeous wife and I when we get our prom pics in a couple of weeks.

Rumsfeld Sorry for Embarrassing Anti-War Celebrities

You can read the full story here.

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld apologized to the celebrity community for the outcome of the war yesterday at his daily press briefing. “In spite of the joy we feel at what happened in Baghdad this week, it is tinged with sadness as we know that we have embarrassed and disappointed the many members of the celebrity community who wanted us to fail.”

Dictionary for Comicholics

For thorough research of words in the world of comics, be sure to use Ka-BOOM! The Dictionary of Champions.

Dozens Dead in Chicago Meatwave

As if terrorism wasn’t enough to worry about, now we have this to contend with.

More for Kelly

Can’t Stop Lovin’ You

Hey!

There’s a time and place for everything. For everyone
We can push with all our might, but nothin’s gonna come
Oh no, nothin’s gonna change
An’ if I ask you not to try, oh could you let it be?

I wanna hold you and say
We can’t throw this all away
Tell me you won’t go, you won’t go
You have to hear me say

I can’t stop lovin’ you
And no matter what I say or do
You know my heart is true, oh
I can’t stop lovin’ you

You can change your friends, your place in life
You can change your mind
We can change the things we say, and do any time
Oh no, but I think you’ll find
That when you look inside your heart
Oh baby, I’ll be there. Yeah!

Hold on. I’m holdin’ on
Baby, just come on, come on, come on
I just wanna hear you say

I can’t stop lovin’ you
And no matter what you say or do
You know my heart is true, oh-oh!
I can’t stop lovin’ you

Oh, I’m so twisted and tied
And all I remember, was how hard we tried
Only to surrender

And when it’s over
I know how it’s gonna be
And true love will never die
Or, not fade away

And I can’t stop lovin’ you
And no matter what I say or do
You know my heart is true, oh
I can’t stop lovin’ you

And I know what I got to do
Hey Ray, what you said is true, oh
I can’t stop lovin’ you, oh no
Oh, can’t stop lovin’ you

© Copyright 1995-2000 Van Halen

From VH’s site:

This was the first single from “Balance” and the song became the band’s 16th Top 40 single! The Ray Sammy refers to in the song is Ray Charles, who had a hit with the Don Gibson original, “I Can’t Stop Loving You” in 1962.

By far one of my favorite VH songs, right behind “Dreams.” I love you, sweetheart.

One million in one week

Yeah, I know everyone has read how the Apple Music Store has sold more than a million songs in its first week.

But Lee has broken down what that means, and the results are impressive. Better than one-and-a-half songs sold per second. I can’t wait to see Apple’s financials on this as the year progresses. My stock has already gone up about three bucks a share in the past week.

InDVDiana Jones

My gorgeous mother-to-be spouse points out that Lucasfilm is releasing the Indiana Jones trilogy on DVD! Slated for release on November 4th, this will be at the top of my birthday (Dec 3) wish list.

iLoo

I wish I was making this up. From the idiot savants at Microsoft UK. (Note that the emphasis is not on “savants.”)

(Thanks, Ricky.)

I have an accent?

A couple of days ago I was talking to my little sister on the phone (okay, she’s 27, but she’ll always be my “little” sister), and she stated that I was picking up a Texas accent.

Seeing how I have long confounded people as to my origins by being pretty much accent-less, this is a trifle upsetting…

Apple’s music Fortune

My lovely bride pointed me to this Fortune article on the new iTunes Music Service. Obviously written for publication before the service was officially announced, it provides a great look at Jobs’ vision behind the service, and the inadequacy of the music industry in its previous and current efforts at online distribution.

A few items I’d like to address:

One thing’s for sure: If ever there was an industry in need of transformation, it’s the music business. U.S. music sales plunged 8.2% last year, largely because songs are being distributed free on the Internet through illicit file-sharing destinations like KaZaA.

I take issue with this statement, since it’s impossible to prove that illegal file sharing has had this much impact on the U.S. music biz. There is a ton of physical piracy (blanket CD copying) going on overseas, especially in Asia, that eats in to the music industry more than a bunch of geeks swapping songs online.

I have downloaded a lot of music from peer-to-peer networks, as well as some centralized sites I have access to. Some of it was digital copies of CDs and cassettes I already own. The rest was stuff I wanted to listen to before I went out and bought it. A lot of that got trashed when I realized it wasn’t for me.

I know I’m not the only one who probably spent more on music (albeit looking for sales and good prices online) because I was pulling music off the net.

Second, it seems as though hardly anyone in the music business thinks that the problem with falling sales may be attributed to the product itself. Elsewhere in the article:

For years they have been able to get away with releasing albums with two or three potential hits bundled with ho-hum filler cuts. That has been wonderful for the industry, but it has made a generation of consumers who pay $18.99 for CDs very cynical. “People are sick and tired of that,” says singer-songwriter Seal. “That’s why people are stealing music.”

Amen. That’s it right there. And we see further evidence of the music industry’s slow-to-catch-on attitude:

But MusicNet users still can’t download songs onto portable players. “These devices haven’t caught on yet,” insists MusicNet CEO Alan McGlade. Never mind that U.S. sales of portable MP3 players soared from 724,000 in 2001 to 1.6 million last year.

Hmmm. I would think a better-than-two-times annual growth, in a year, in any segment of the tech economy would be cause for consideration of said segment.

As for the service itself, I think it’s great. I haven’t actually bought and downloaded any music yet, but that’ll change any day. I’ve spent quite a bit of time searching through it and listening to samples. It’s going to change the way I buy music. It’s going to change the music business.

S.W.A.T.

Another trailer, this time for the Sam Jackson-Colin Farrell-LL Cool J-Michelle Rodriguez vehicle, S.W.A.T. Loosely based on the 1970s television show of the same name (apparently the only similarity is an updated theme song), it looks pretty good. This was one of my favorite shows when I was about four or five years old.

For the uninitiated, S.W.A.T. stands for Special Weapons And Tactics. The first S.W.A.T. team in the United States was fielded by the Los Angeles Police Department, and next to the FBI’s Hostage Rescue Team (HRT), they are considered the elite such force in the nation. (Of non-military units, that is. The Army’s Delta Force and SEAL Team Six are also antiterrorist units, but are used for overseas operations.)

All of the above units are modeled on the antiterrorist division of the British SAS (Special Air Service), which remained secret until Operation Nimrod, the 1980 Iranian Embassy hostage siege in London, which was broadcast worldwide.

T3 International Trailer

Yeah, baby! Arnold’s back in the 3d installment of the Terminator series. Point your QuickTime-enabled browser here to view the internationally-released trailer.

Daddy’s little Stars fan

Start’em young, I say.

And yes, this means there will be a little phisch swimming in our pod later this year.

Back off, you Rebel scum!

Thanks to Carbon Copy Cloner, my TiBook has gone from four partitions to three, without missing a beat. Well, there was obviously some downtime, but no muss, no fuss!

The new desktop pic is courtesy of my new Canon PowerShot G3.

al-Sahaf’s new job

Brian discovered that former Iraqi (Dis)Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf has a new job.

The Bush Regime Change Tour

First it was Afghanistan, where the U.S. military accomplished in less than three months what the former Soviet Union failed to do in a decade. In the process, we ousted a terrorism-supporting regime and installed a democratic form of government.

Then it was Iraq, where the greatest military force in the world took over a country the size of California in under three weeks, liberating its people from an oppressive dictator bent on supplying terrorists with weapons of mass destruction.

Tomorrow, Syria? North Korea? Iran? France?

Whatever terrorism-supporting regime we take down next, be sure to nab your official Bush Regime Change Tour merchandise!

Brought to you by the new United Nations: Inefficient. Ineffectual. Irrelevant.

(Major thanks and kudos to Rick for the idea!)

Baker Bros. redux

So, on my own for lunch again. Three bucks in my pocket. Sure, it’s enough for fast food — McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s — but I’m not eating at the first two, and I don’t want fast food. Need some place to use the debit card.

So I figured, back to Baker Bros. This go-around, I had the Texas Star and black bean soup. The soup was good, but nothing spectacular. I’ve had lots of black bean soups that tasted just as good. Some worse, and few that tasted better. Of the two, I think I prefer their baked potato soup. The Texas Star sandwich was also good, but messy. Of the two, I’ll stick with the Kentucky Club.

Ok, no more Baker Bros. this week! Really.

New York Office Space

I don’t live in New York. Don’t work in New York. Plan to never, ever live or work in New York.

Yet I found this article by Joel Spolsky, on searching for office space in NYC, fascinating. (via Glenn)

Tax Day Desktop

Not sure what compelled me to suddenly share what my desktop looks like, but here it is:

Click on the above pic for a full-size image.

That’s Zane, atop one of his former favorite napping places: my 20” CRT, now replaced by a 15” Apple LCD. That shot is about two years old. The PowerBook has four partitions, appropriately named for an avowed Star Wars nut. iTunes is ripping The Elms’ latest to MP3.

The one thing I miss about that incredibly massive Radius CRT, was Zane plopping down on top when I was in the room.

Baker Bros. = Yum!

My buddy FranX is celebrating five years of service with the company today, at a special lunch for folks in his division who also qualify. So I was on my own for lunch.

As I pulled out of the parking garage, my Jeep politely informed me that I had 17 miles to go before the tank went dry (theoretically). So I rolled over to Costco, gassed up, then decided to go try the Baker Bros. American Deli. It sits across the parking lot from the Genghis Grill Kelly and I frequent, and we have long talked about trying it out.

It was delicious. I had the Kentucky Club and a cup of baked potato soup. Two enthusiastic thumbs-up. It is a little on the high side for lunch, $11 for the above plus a iced tea, so it’s certainly not a place I’ll go each week. However, the food is excellent, and a couple of visits a month is not out of the question. Retrophisch™ Recommended!

Fun with spammers

This isn’t necessarily an anti-spam measure; it’s more along the lines of revenge. From the latest Dilbert newsletter comes this reader gem:

Here’s a fun hobby of mine: When I get e-mail spam that includes an 800-number, I save the number for later. Then when one of the hundreds of Nigerian scam e-mails hits my e-mail box, I reply enthusiastically and give the 800-number of the spammer as my own. I feel that people in the DNRC have a responsibility to introduce A-holes to each other.

War Zone Entertainment

It never ceases to amaze me how people can find ways to amuse themselves, even during times of danger, blood, and death.

Dallas Auto Show 2003

This past Sunday I met up with my friend Michael at the Dallas Convention Center for the annual Dallas Auto Show. Not really in the market for a vehicle (at least this year), I concentrated mainly on the new stuff and concept vehicles when snapping photos. I’ve posted everything in this online photo album. Enjoy!

Brent’s Birthday

Jon notes that yesterday was Brent Simmons’ birthday, so I’d like to express my best wishes to him as well. NetNewsWire absolutely rocks, I’m becoming a big fan of TigerLaunch (doesn’t hurt its popularity with me that I went to LSU, either), and look forward to trying out Huevos.

Why you want to buy the extended warranty

Can you hear me NOW?

I’ve received enough copies of the Bush/Saddam Verizon Wireless spoof graphic. You can stop now. Thanks.

Dark Side Switch

The Lords of the Sith are ripping off Apple with their own commercials.

(Note: Ricky’s warned me that the rest of newgrounds.com isn’t work/family-friendly, so be advised. Flash required.)

Happy Birthday, Eric!

Belated birthday wishes to friend and fellow ATPM staffer, Eric Blair. So what, you’re old enough to buy beer now, right? ;^)

Hope you had a great one, amigo!

What are they thinking?

Mars bar, meet Snickers Almond. Snickers Almond, the Mars bar.

Why would a company create a product that not only competes directly with one of its other products, but is nearly indistinguishable from its established product? Or is the Mars bar going to get the boot?

The Unix Guru’s Guide to Sex

% unzip
% strip
% touch
% grep
% finger
% mount
% fsck
% more
% yes
% umount
% sleep

I IM’ed my wife this with the qualifier that it came from Jim and that, yes, we’re total nerds. She heartily agreed.

Open, open, open…

“Training In Progress” cries the banner outside the new Grapevine location of P.F. Chang’s. Two minutes from the office, about 15 minutes from the house. No more half-hour-minimum drives for our favorite Chinese bistro! Chicken lettuce wraps! Chang’s Spicy Chicken! Mongolian Beef! Yum!

Large Silent Sinister Menacing Floating Presence

Thanks to Gary and Chuq, I blew water out my nose when reading this. Highly entertaining.

Honey, can you take the AmEx out of the freezer?

The March 3 issue of Business Week features a blurb regarding controlling your credit card usage. In the past, the solution to credit card overusage has been to cut up the card—which leaves you stuck in the event of an emergency. A tip from the book Good Advice for a Bad Economy suggests that you put your credit cards in a sandwich bag full of water, then stick the bag in the freezer.

This way, you have access to the cards in the even of an emergency, but “impulses must wait for the ice to thaw.”

Something rotten in the state of Japan?

Gibson offers a “readymade” novel to anyone willing, founded upon this news item from Tokyo.

Banana Junior 6000

Tech gear lust can begin at an early age. For me, in 1985, I wanted a Banana Junior 6000. (Thanks to Gruber for the link.)

My personal favorites are “Fritos,” “Toaster Ovens,” and “I Think.”

tchotchke

Lee was not familiar with the term, so I pointed him to Webster’s, which defines it as a noun, Yiddish in entymology etymology, and means “trinket” or “knickknack.”

As I told Lee, the word saw a jump into the mainstream during the dot-com glory days, when those companies would give out all kinds of logo-emblazoned crap at trade shows, conventions, expos, and to anyone the marketing people ever came into contact with. Maybe too many tchotchkes is yet another reason why so many of them dot-bombed.

That said, I do appreciate a quality tchotchke, like the metal Apple luggage tag I received from them last year at MWNY.

Those lovable French…

Brian informed me that Rush’s stand-in nailed the French today:

Q: What did the leader of France say when Germany invaded?
A: Table for 100,000?

Q: Why are the streets of Paris lined with trees?
A: The Germans prefer to march in the shade.

R1

Michael has me gear-lusting after this. I’ve always felt more like a rice rocket kind of guy than one who’d straddle a hog. I’d like it in Liquid Silver, please.

Of course, my wife thinks I’m crazy…

54321

I just saw the motorcross commercial on Fox Sports (Southwest) for their show “54321.” The motorcross biker clapping at the end, after the doofus crashes the gate — just seems like something Dan would do. :)

What a great kid

Mark Newhouse’s daughter Jordan donated a 14-inch ponytail to Locks for Love on Valentine’s Day, and Mark has documented the event in the form of a QuickTime movie:

“Locks of Love is a non-profit organization that provides hairpieces to financially disadvantaged children across the U.S. under age 18 suffering from long-term medical hair loss.

“It takes ten to 15 donated ponytails to make one hairpiece because Locks of Love only uses lengths of 10 inches and longer. 80% of donors are children.”

Four-eyes

A little over two weeks ago, I joined the ranks of the bespeckled:

Eyemasters wanted $90 for the non-polarized clip-on sunglasses for them! Thanks to a tip from my dad, I picked up slip-on polarized lenses at Sam’s for 13 bucks. They don’t conform exactly to my lenses (they overlap slightly), but you can’t beat the performance for the price:

I have an astigmatism; according to my optometrist, I could have foregone getting glasses for another year, maybe more, but I decided to go for it now, while I have vision insurance! Sitting in front of computer screens 10+ hours a day, for both work and fun, as well as lots of reading for pleasure, helped spur the decision to get them now. I wasn’t really surprised; my dad’s worn glasses since I was a small child, and my mom has to wear them to read and drive, so it was inevitable.

The style is Chaps 51 by Ralph Lauren, just in case you’re so dazzled by them you want to rush out to get your own pair.

Happy Valentine’s Day

I’d just like to take a moment to wish my wonderful wife of ten and a half years a Happy Valentine’s Day. I love you, sweetheart.

Kenner Pooch Wins at Westminster

A Pekingese from Kenner won the toy dog category at the Westminster dog show this week, though she lost out in the Best in Show finale. Why do I care? I called Kenner home for three years, and my wife’s parents live there. She moved there when she was 7, grew up there. Her father was a city councilman for 12 years. I worked for the Pontchartrain Center.

For the uninitiated, Kenner is actually where the New Orleans International Airport is located. Leaving from the airport, you drive through Kenner, then Metairie, before entering Orleans Parish and New Orleans proper. Kenner is the 5th largest city in Louisiana.

We watched the Best in Show judging, and Yakee was simply adorable, waddling along with her fur all poofed out. Cute as a button. It would not surprise me to learn that my father-in-law knows the owners…

Eddie who?

Speaking of the Stars, I think Marty Turco is well on his way to ridding us of the ghost of Ed Belfour. Taking his team to the Finals and winning a Cup will definitely do it. Turco has just been monster in goal this year, and with the team’s win over the Kings yesterday, he extended his personal unbeaten streak to 14 games, tying the franchise record. This is something Mr. Belfour was unable to do during his tenure here. Turco anchored the West’s defense in the 3d period of the 2003 All-Star Game, and performed brilliantly. Belfour’s days at said contest are well behind him.

This is not to say that Ed Belfour was not appreciated by Stars fans, nor that he didn’t deserve to lead Dallas to a Stanley Cup win. Simply, time has caught up with the Eagle, and as he has moved on, the Stars have shown that their minor league system can produce the same kind of high-caliber goaltending Stars fans are used to. Perhaps best of all, Marty doesn’t come with the off-the-ice, emotional baggage Eddie was infamous for.

So thanks for your performance, Eddie, during your stay in Big D, but Marty’s the future, and the future’s bright.

Why IS a team from Dallas in the Pacific Division?

Daryl Reaugh sums up a lot of my feelings on why the Stars are in the wrong division.

Right on, Reebok!

You know that annoying Nike Shox ad with the guy running across the soccer field wearing only his Shox shoes and a scarf? Reebok, with the help of Terry Tate, has effectively nuked it, and good riddance. Kudos, Reebokkers!!

(registration and QuickTime or WMP required — click on “Streak This, Baby!”)

Harmony

“Triumphant in their kill of the elephant chew toy, feline and canine shared bedding in front of a warm fire, and there was peace throughout the land…”

Stars beat Senators

In a possible Stanley Cup Finals preview, the current best team in the West took on the current best team in the East (and the league). The Stars trailed most of the game, scored 2 goals in 41 seconds to tie in the 2d, then watched the Sens’ Martin Havlat notch a hat trick with his 3d of the evening just moments later.

The Stars didn’t knuckle under, however, coming back to tie it at 3 all, and Bill Guerin put Dallas up with 5:24 left in the 3d. With 30-something seconds left, Modano added an empty netter to seal the deal. Dallas is now 11-1-3 in their last 15 as the race for playoff position slowly begins to heat up. The Stars are now within one point of Ottawa in the President’s Trophy race.

Horrendous officiating, especially by the linesmen, on both sides of the puck. What else is new in today’s Mr. Magoo NHL?

Great game, and if both teams survive through the playoffs, what a Stanley Cup series this is going to be.

Automatic Flatterer

If you’re having a bad day and need a little pick-me-up, click here. (JavaScript needs to be enabled in your browser.)

(Thanks, Jim!)

Don’t mess with MacTavish

It’s nice to see that Craig MacTavish, who came up during the NHL’s bruiser days, hasn’t lost the hockey-player mentality as a coach.

(Thanks, Brian!)

What are you lookin’ at?

Isn’t he adorable? Clancy loves tennis balls. . .

More Vindigo city facts

From back at the end of October, when Vindigo added Milwaukee, Pittsburgh, and more coverage for Chicago and Washington, DC:

• During the 1850s and ‘60s many inventors tried to produce a workable typewriter, but none succeeded until 1867, when Milwaukee’s Christopher Latham Sholes and inventors Carlos Glidden and Samuel W. Soul patented a writing machine. The machine held a sheet of paper between a rubber platen and smaller rubber cylinder, with a carriage that moved from left to right as the keys, each with a separate mark, number or letter, were struck. Their invention didn’t take off until 1873, when the trio contracted with E. Remington & Sons of Ilion, New York, which until then just made rifles and sewing machines, to produce it.
• Baseball’s First World Series Game occured in Pittsburgh: A 1903 showdown between the Pirates and the Boston Red Sox. The Pirates eventually lost the series in nine games.
• Chicago-style, or deep dish, pizza was created in 1943 by Ike Sewell and Ric Riccardo of Pizzeria Uno.
• Prince George’s County is the home to the world’s oldest continuously operating airport, College Park Airport. The Wright Brothers taught flying lessons there in 1909.
• The name for Reston, in Northern Virginia, comes from the initials of Robert E. Simon, who developed the new “town” in the 1960s.

Digitize Fido

Fido’s info, that is. The stamped metal dog tags you buy from a vending machine at the pet store are so 20th century. The Dog-e-Tag is a US $40 battery-operated dog tag that stores up to 40 lines of text, viewable on a scrolling LCD. A standard watch battery will power the tag for about 2 years.

Cotton Bowl observations

Longhorn Chris Simms lived down to his reputation and didn’t choke at a big game, closing out his collegiate career with a win. I can’t wait to see Simms and Major Applewhite in the NFL. UT had a solid game, but not what I would call a great or spectacular game. It seemed that to beat LSU, they had to resort to the big play time and time again to get the scores, while the Tigers put together drive after drive after drive. What can you say? The strategy worked for the Longhorns and failed for the Tigers.

To me, the Tigers gave the game to UT, which wasn’t really playing, especially in the first half, like they truly wanted the win. Turnovers and the secondary on both sides were the major factors in this game. UT’s only score of the first quarter was on a recovered fumble run back for a touchdown; their offense contributed nothing. That would change by halftime, when the Tigers were down 21-17, from which they’d never recover. The Texas secondary was fantastic in its coverage, able to fall back against the run very quickly when needed. LSU’s secondary pretty much sucked at covering Roy Williams, who scored one touchdown for the Longhorns. To be honest, with such a high-powered Texas offense, I’m amazed the final score wasn’t more along the lines of 42-20, 49-20, or 56-20.

Neither team really capitalized well on turnovers and penalties on the opposition. Speaking of penalties, what conference did these lame officials come from? We had a couple of pretty nice Texas fans sitting behind us, and we all agreed that there was some major holding and blocking from the back going on on both sides of the ball that wasn’t getting called. And can someone please explain to me why LSU’s Marcus Randall was flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct while Texas escaped with no penalties on the play? The play in question was this: LSU hikes the ball, but the play is whistled dead for a false start. Yet the Longhorns continue the attack, Randall getting hit three separate times. Randall is just trying to back away, knowing the play is dead, but keeps getting hit. He throws down the ball in frustration, and takes the penalty. Why didn’t UT get hit with unsportsmanlike conduct or personal fouls? Randall obviously heard the whistle; why couldn’t they? LSU did answer with a 44-yard run by Domanick Davis for a first down. :)

All in all, the Tigers have no one but themselves to blame for the snapping of their five-game bowl-winning streak (an NCAA record, tied with Miami and North Carolina). Hopefully, coach Nick Saban will stick around to shape the Tigers up for another run at the SEC championship and a shot at a national title (rumors of NFL courtship abound). The weather was fantastic, and we had great seats on the LSU 40 (thanks Terry and Wells Fargo!). The Texas fans weren’t overly obnoxious, and the ones around us were pleasant to talk football with. The Tiger band kicked the Longhorn band’s collective butt both in the stands and on the field at halftime. It was the first time we had been to a college bowl of any kind, and it was made all the sweeter by watching our alma mater play, even if they did lose. Photos are forthcoming. We had a great time.

Cotton Bowl bound

Yeah, I know the blog’s been quiet the past few days. Since I was unable to get any time off on the days before or after Christmas Day, we had to do the Christmas thing with our families this weekend. Once again, I’m reminded how much dial-up sucks and how thankful I am to have broadband. Dial-up browsers are one of the reasons I try to keep this site on the low-bandwidth side.

As stated previously, we’re going to the Cotton Bowl tomorrow morning (11 am EST/8 am PST on Fox). I think the Longhorns are primed for an upset, as no one seems to be taking LSU seriously, especially Longhorn fans. LSU sold out of its allotment of tickets the day they were put on sale. The Cotton Bowl sold a considerable amount of its tix allotment to Tiger fans even before LSU was confirmed as one of the teams playing! The Cotton Bowl even took some of the Texas allotment back, because the Longhorn faithful just weren’t buying, and gave them to LSU to sell, which they did, all on the day they went on sale. There’s going to be a hell of a lot of purple and gold in Dallas tomorrow. Geaux Tigers!

Preloaded

Blog Entry of the Day has to go to Panic’s Steven Frank. Steven’s commentary is just as funny as the item being commented on.

LSU vs Ole Miss, 11/23/02

Thanks to a generous neighbor, Kelly & I, along with our friends and fellow alumni, Drew & Melanie, got to go to the last LSU home game of 2002. The Tigers played the Ole Miss Rebels, and had something of a tough time until about midway through the second half, when the defense finally figured out Eli Manning and the Rebel offense. Of course, I took some pictures.

We have tickets to the Cotton Bowl on January 1 to see the Tigers upset the Texas Longhorns! Geaux Tigers!!

Happy Belated Birthday, bro

Dan turned 30 yesterday. Welcome to the ranks of the thirtysomethings, amigo. :)

Is this covered by my insurance?

“Watch for falling meteorites.”

Well, isn’t this special?

Which Star-Crossed Marvel Lover Are You?

Thanks, Dan! Of course, I always leaned more toward The Punisher, Wolverine, and Captain America when I was collecting. . .

Nice, but it doesn’t do windows…

For your enjoyment, the iRobot Intelligent FloorVac from Roomba. (Flash required.)

Barney Cam

No, not the purple dinosaur parents love to hate, but Barney, one of the Bush dogs. Go here and look for the Barney Cam link to see Barney terrorize White House Christmas trees and discover a new rawhide bone. Pretty entertaining for dog lovers. (Thanks, Kel!)

Not Carlin’s Paradox

If you are one of many who receives “The Paradox of Our Time” email this holiday season, and it’s attributed to George Carlin after 9/11/01, or a Columbine High student, it was written by Jeff Dickson in May 1998. Just so you don’t embarrass yourself.

It is a fabulous piece of writing, however.

I have to try this!

Ever been shopping and when you check out they ask you for your zip code? That make you feel even the least bit uncomfortable? Well, here’s an idea for the next time that happens, courtesy of the latest Dilbert newsletter (and yes, the spelling of Induhvidual is correct—if you get it):

“A store clerk asked for my zip code, apparently as part of their market research. Rather than just saying, ‘No,’ I told the young Induhvidual at the cash register that it was unlisted. The Induhvidual looked at me with obvious confusion and said, ‘I didn’t know that you could do that.’

“I replied, ‘Of course, but like telephone numbers, it costs extra.’ I looked back as I was leaving, and observed the Induhvidual still lost in thought, and the next customer impatiently waiting for service.”

Beware Bord the Impaler!

As a warning to Gummi Bears everywhere. . .

Ok, so I work with odd people. And who is more odd—those who perpetuate such acts, or those who capture them for posterity. . . ?

Boundaries of the Contiguous United States

Watch the boundaries of the U.S. and the individual states change from colonization to the modern age. (Thanks, Rick!)

X2 teaser

Speaking of QuickTime, Apple is hosting the teaser trailer for X-Men 2 that was shown at ComicCon 2002.

Powers of Ten

Cool site courtesy of one of my co-workers. Requires a Java-enabled browser. From the site:

“View the Milky Way at 10 million light years from the Earth. Then move through space towards the Earth in successive orders of magnitude until you reach a tall oak tree just outside the buildings of the National High Magnetic Field Laboratory in Tallahassee, Florida. After that, begin to move from the actual size of a leaf into a microscopic world that reveals leaf cell walls, the cell nucleus, chromatin, DNA and finally, into the subatomic universe of electrons and protons.”

<big smile>

“Michael Jackson horrified German onlookers by dangling a baby over his hotel balcony railing in Berlin. He’s there for a reason. Americans are so annoyed at Germany for insulting President Bush that we sent them a fruitcake for the holidays.” —Argus Hamilton

Think Geek wish list

Speaking of Think Geek, I have updated my Think Geek wish list, just in case anyone feels generous enough to buy me anything. My top picks include the Bounty Hunter t-shirt, the Megatokyo “Capture the b34r” t-shirt and poster, and the O’Reilly 2003 calendar. No pressure, though. Really.

MegaTokyo

Thanks to the overlords at Think Geek, I am now a fan of the online manga strip, MegaTokyo by Fred Gallagher. Computer geeks, especially gamers, and any manga/anime fans should check it out.

Happy Birthday to me. . .

Yes, yes, 32 today. Well, officially, 32 as of 11:03 am, about half an hour from now. Eh, just another birthday. Thirty-two doesn’t feel any different than 31 or 30 did. Phil, the department’s resident cook, made peach cobbler today for all of the December birthdays. YUM!

Ride the Shuttle

For the first time ever, NASA mounted a “RocketCam” on the external fuel tank utilized by the Space Shuttle. From a launch of the Atlantis earlier this year, you can watch the launch until the separation of the booster rockets, as the Atlantis hurls into space at a whopping 2,800 miles per hour. (QuickTime required)

When I grow up

Remember that Monster.com ad with all the kids talking about what dead-end career they wanted “when I grow up?”

If not, you’ll certainly remember it when you see this advertising-centric version that apparently slipped through the cracks. It’s by far the funniest thing I’ve watched all week; two-thirds of the way through, I was already in tears. QuickTime is required. (from Grant)

Industrious Clock

A very interesting web page clock. (Thanks, Jay!)

Aloha!

I’m on vacation on the Garden Isle of Kaua’i, Hawai’i, right now, so posts will be few and far between. I’ll try to get a few pics up here and there, but don’t hold your breath. :)

May It Be

I don’t know what it is about the song, but I have found myself cueing up “May It Be,” by Enya, from The Fellowship of the Ring soundtrack over and over today. . .

May it be an evening star
Shines down upon you
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh! How far you are from home

Mornië utúlië (Darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornië alantië (Darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

May it be the shadow’s call
Will fly away
May it be your journey on
To light the day
When the night is overcome
You may rise to find the sun

Mornië utúlië (Darkness has come) 
Believe and you will find your way
Mornië alantië (Darkness has fallen) 
A promise lives within you now

A promise lives within you now

Windows messages rewritten

Courtesy of Neil Gaiman, and like Neil, it made me smile: McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: Windows Messages, as if Rewritten by Scott, This Guy Who Bullied Me in the Second Grade. Well, to be honest, it made me, and a couple of my coworkers, laugh.

Air passenger ban possible

America’s Finest News Source has revealed that the FAA is considering a ban on air passengers in order to make our skies safer. In the wake of September 11th, this kind of thinking, while not surprising, is still disheartening.

Biggest LEGO set ever

Thirty-eight inches long. Twenty-four inches wide. Over 3,100 pieces. Twelve-hour minimum build time. I must have one. Perhaps someone will buy it for me for my birthday or Christmas?

Perpetual Bubble wrap

Are you one of those people that loves to annoy others by popping bubble wrap? Me, too. Now you can pop the bubble wrap that always comes back for more popping action! (Thanks, Brian!)

Why we need a college football playoff system

Can someone please explain to me why the Miami Hurricanes continue to be voted the #1 college football team in the country? I mean, look at these football powerhouses that Miami plays: Florida A&M, Temple, Connecticut, Rutgers, and Syracuse (sorry, Jim). They may play two or three good teams a year, and this is worthy of a national championship?

We are in desperate need of a playoff system for college football to determine a true national champion. We do it for every other major sport: the College World Series, the Final Four for basketball, and the Frozen Four for hockey. Why can we not do this for football?

The system is already in place with the various bowl games we have at the end of the year. You rotate the championship game from bowl to bowl like the BCS does now, and the other bowl games are part of the playoff system. I guess it’s the simple, common sense things that elude us sometimes.