“Microsoft Dings Stocks”
Ballmer’s insurance expired, has to get cash for repairs from Bill.
“YMCA office under attack by Muslims in West Bank”
No word on the status of the construction worker or the biker.
“Chad Pressured to Postpone Election”
Meanwhile, Jacob and Britney can hold elections as planned.
“AT&T Shareholders Reject Resolutions”
AT&T shareholders are idiots.
“Government Takes Over Aloha Air Pension”
Aloha Air pensioners see money flushed down toilet. U.S. taxpayers now responsible for the bailout, likewise.

Train the Brain

I so want a Nintendo DS just so I can play Brain Age. This would be great when I hit writers’ block or my ADD tendencies creep up, not to mention trips like our upcoming one to the Granite State. I could honestly care less about the other games. Think my beloved will go for it?


About this time, sixteen years ago today, I was at an after-party with a girl. It was our first date, and she had accompanied me to the annual Military Ball held by the combined ROTC detachment at LSU. The after-party was a small affair, at the apartment of one of the older cadets, who just happened to be my former flight leader and was a big sister-type to me.
The girl who was my date? She’s upstairs right now, getting ready for bed.

Parenting Hot Tip

Mark D. Roberts:

My hot tip for fathers (and mothers, too) is a simple one: Spend time one-on-one with your children, and if possible, for a few days in a row. I realize that some of my readers aren’t in a place to do this, because you don’t have children, or your children are grown, or… . But if your children are in a place where they can get time away with you, then by all means take advantage of this timely opportunity.
I’m very blessed in this regard. My son is home with me two days a week, so we get a lot of buddy time while my wife is at work. I know our friends Michael and Heather get similar opportunities with their son. I can’t wait until the little phisch is older and we can go on trips like the one Mark describes in his post. This one is at the top of my list; I love the Tetons/Jackson Hole area.


“Prosecutors Get First Shot at Lay”
Too easy. Waaaaaaaaaaaaay too easy…
“Microsoft to Buy Chinese Hardware”
This is news? Isn’t it all Chinese hardware?
“Songbirds May Be Able to Learn Grammar”
We can’t teach grammar to kids graduating from high school, so we’re going to try birds? Those teacher unions can get away with anything.
“NYC Firefighter Begins Sentence in Brawl”
Is that a regional dialect of braille?
“Dog burns down owner’s kitchen”
“Since when does a medium-rare steak come in a bag marked ‘Purina’?!?!?!?!?”
“Police Arrest Nude Man Stuck in Chimney”
It’s a real shame the lengths some guys will go in some misguided quest for hot sex.
“‘Deep Throat’ Saw Himself As ‘Lone Ranger'”
So who’s Tonto, Woodward or Bernstein?

Dvorak to Microsoft: Kill IE

For once, John Dvorak rants on a company other than Apple:

I think it can now be safely said, in hindsight, that Microsoft’s entry into the browser business and its subsequent linking of the browser into the Windows operating system looks to be the worst decision — and perhaps the biggest, most costly gaffe — the company ever made.

I call it the Great Microsoft Blunder.
His solution is for Microsoft to halt any Internet Explorer development, throw some cash to Mozilla, and invest in Opera. Works for me.

The season thus far

I haven’t blogged yet about the spring softball season, and given how today’s game was the best one this season for me personally, I thought an update in order.
The league expanded to eight teams this season, so we will have a four-team playoff at the end. Currently, we’re the number two team, with not much hope of catching number one. That spot is held by one of the new teams, and they’re good. You’re doing really well against that team if you lose by less than double digits. They’re pounding everybody. My fervent hope is after a couple of seasons they’ll get bored and move on.
Today’s game was against the other new team. We got off to a slow start, and fell behind early. We slowly battled back, and I went in to the game in the fourth inning, at third base. I didn’t see much action, fielding-wise, but was able to make it count when I did. We had a bases loaded situation, with one out, where the line drive came to me, I threw it home for the second out, and we held the runners at all three bases again. The next batter popped out to center-right, getting us out of the inning.
My first trip to the plate proved fruitful. I had yet to collect any RBIs in the previous five games; it seemed I was always coming up to the plate with a runner on first or no runners on at all, and when you’re pretty much a singles hitter, and in those situations, it doesn’t lend itself toward scoring opportunities. Today, Tiffany had just cranked a two-out double to score a run and she was at second.
First pitch, I swing and connect. Wow. Did that feel ever so good coming off the bat. Deep to center-left field, over the heads of the outfielders. A triple, with a run scored. The second-best hit I’ve had since I began playing on this team two-and-a-half years ago. (Number one would be the other triple I hit in another season, which was nearly an in-the-park home run and scored more runs.) I would score when Jennifer, our coach, knocked a single up the middle.
My second and final at-bat was a single, right up the middle in to shallow center, and it, too, scored a run. I would advance to second when the opposing pitcher walked Jen, then head from second to home when Chris D. put one in to deep center-right. The only downer was that I pulled my left quad a bit rounding third, limping to the plate.
So it takes six games for me to get a single RBI, and batting 1.000 today, I get two. The team improves to 4-2, and we remain in second place with two more games to go. I won’t play next week; we have tickets to the Stars’ playoff game, provided they don’t get swept by Colorado after a disastrous opener.

Mountains out of molehills

James Taranto:

The elements of the “crisis” Mitchell describes are twofold: (1) Iraq isn’t Vietnam–i.e., a war the press helps lose for America; and (2) the Bush administration hasn’t produced a Watergate–i.e., a corruption scandal in which the press helps bring down an administration. This isn’t a crisis for America. For most Americans, Vietnam and Watergate were tragedies, and we’d rather not repeat them, thank you very much.

But it is a crisis for the press. For journalists of a certain age, Vietnam and Watergate were triumphs that they are eager to repeat. It doesn’t look as though that’s going to happen. Our advice to newsmen? Pray. “Lord, grant me the courage to change what I can, the serenity to accept what I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Amen. Now stop crusading and report the damn news.