links for 2010-08-19

  • "Adoptees must attempt to make sense of a complex, deep matrix of circumstances, emotions and thoughts. It's not easy, not only because it's not easy, but also because most folks don't realize that it's not easy."

    (tags: adoption)

  • "Lucky? Lucky.
    Lucky to have been born on a continent terrorized by war, corruption and greed?
    Lucky to have been born in a country where 25,000 women and girls die each year due to pregnancy-related complications?
    Lucky to have been born in a country where more than half the population has ZERO access to basic medical care?
    Lucky to have been born in a region reliant upon rainfall and devastated by drought?
    […]
    Lucky to have been in a room with at least eight other needy babies at any given time?
    Lucky to have been taken outside for "fresh air" once a day (week?) into a concrete courtyard?
    Lucky to have been held for feedings… and sometimes only for feedings?
    Lucky to have been in a Bumbo chair instead of a mother's arms?
    Lucky to have been taken by complete strangers to another continent 7000 miles away?
    Lucky to have been physically removed from his people, culture, history, language, customs?"

    (tags: adoption)

  • "Sometimes as the parent of an adopted child you get a lot of comments that are spoken innocently but come from a place of ignorance. Education is part of our job, but sometimes it gets a little frustrating.

    […]

    "The rescue and lucky mentality people have with orphans so easily overlooks the very real pain and trauma inherent in it all. It engenders a need for gratefulness and payback among the children that’s just unhealthy. It turns a blind eye to the reality of their situation and turns adoptive parents into superheros that we’re definitely not."

    (tags: adoption)

  • "Adoption is not lucky. … It’s a very sticky point in adoption but it’s an important one for people to remember. Our children came to our family because there was a need. There is grief, loss, and sadness in their lives."

    (tags: adoption)

  • "[C]hildren playing in the water make noise. When they get quiet, you get to them and find out why."

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