Rex Defeatus Maximus

Well, the Rex Grossman Chicago fans have grown to fear and Colts fans have grown to love was the Rex Grossman that showed up for the Super Bowl™. And the Colts’ defense Colts fans hoped would show up did. Take away that the opening kickoff run back, and you have a blowout, ladies and gentlemen.
Had some fun geeking out on the technology used to show the American Professional Football National Championship™. (See NFL? Two can play the trademark game. Disclaimer: I graciously allow the use of this trademark by any and all persons in the United States and abroad except the National Football League™.)
Our church, like many others, decided to have a Party Which Shall Not Be Named™ to view the American Professional Football National Championship™ game. The kicker was this: said game would start whilst many members, notably the myriad teenagers who would be the prime audience for viewing of said game, were still in attendance of the 5 PM worship service. So, technology to the rescue.
Enter a church member’s TiVo, slaved to his Slingbox. This same fellow’s ThinkPad, with the appropriate Slingbox interface software, resides in the Dungeon, where the above-referenced game was going to be shown. The ThinkPad is hooked up to the Dungeon’s projector unit, resized to a viewing area of 55 inches to comply with NFL regulations. Voila! Kickoff for us was at 6:15 PM CST, and we didn’t have to endure Prince at halftime. (Much to the displeasure of some of the yoots in attendance; it was about a 50-50 split in the vote.)
It was a lot of fun listening to the cheers and jeers of the crowd for the commercials. For instance, the commercial featuring K-Fraud, er, Kevin Federline, was roundly jeered, until the end, when K-Fraud, er, Mr. Federline, is shown working as a fast food fry guy. The jeers quickly turned to cheers. Such is the opinion of most yoots, it would seem, of the former Mr. Britney Spears. (And sorry, Toyota, I can maybe buy that your new Tundra can haul that big load up that steep of a grade from a dead stop, but there’s no freaking way I’m buying it not sliding down the other side when the brakes are applied, anti-lock or not. Your commercial met with wide disapproval from our polled viewers.) Budweiser didn’t get any props from our yoots; apparently they don’t care how “old school” Jay-Z is, August Busch IV, you don’t show up Don Shula.
As a copyright holder myself, I wholeheartedly agree with Brent: the NFL was perfectly within their right to enforce their trademark against the church in Indiana. They just look like royal jerks for doing so.
The 55-inch restriction is a joke; if I had 300 of my closest friends over to my home where they, at no charge whatsoever, could consume beverages and food I purchased and cooked while they watched the Super Bowl™ on my 60-inch plasma (yeah, I wish), what’s the difference between that and the viewing at Fall Creek Baptist Church? (Trademark infringement and the church’s proposition to raise money for a mission trip aside.) That’s still 297 (or however you want to divvy up the households) Nielsen ratings the NFL and CBS aren’t going to get because these people are at my house, where the two are only getting a Nielsen rating of one. (And this is one they’re not even getting, because to have your home counted in the Nielsens, you have to sign your life away to get a little Big Brother Nielsen box.)
I’m not sure why the NFL chose this year to flex its muscle as it did against Fall Creek Baptist Church. I’m sure the NFL has been aware of churches and other non-profit institutions holding Parties Which Shall Not Be Named™ in the past. The American Professional Football National Championship™ has been around for too long, and Super Bowl™ Sunday (is that a trademarked phrase, too, NFL?) has become so ingrained in the American consciousness that I would be quite surprised if no one in the NFL hierarchy was aware of this practice. Again, they just look like royal jerks this go-around.
I, for one, had an enjoyable Super Bowl™ viewing this evening, even if we were limited to 55 inches when we could have gone to 72 or more. It was fun seeing and hearing the reactions of the teenagers, and watching my little phisch tear around the Dungeon while hocked up on watered-down–intentionally so–orange soda and cookies. I didn’t have to endure an obnoxious and overly lavish half-time show featuring a has-been artist. I got to hang out and joke around with Brent, and to a lesser degree, Nathan and Steve. I ate way too much pizza and way too many cookies.
I got to see Tony Dungy get the Super Bowl shot he deserved, and he led his team to victory. I’m happy that Peyton Manning will not become the next Dan Marino. I was glad former LSU Tiger Joseph Addai had a solid game, even if the rookie didn’t score a touchdown. No matter who’s playing, I’m looking forward to the Party Which Shall Not Be Named™ next year.

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